Thursday, January 13, 2005

I'm working on two new songs right now, tenatively titled Run Away & Apathetic American. I'm trying to write some mindless poppy country stuff, so of course my mind goes into deep dark mode and I end up writing some cool shit. I just work that way. If I tried to write depp stuff, I'd end up with some kinda billy ray cyrus crap. his last name just doesn't fit. cyrus, isn't that greek? or is that cypress?

i had about 14 pop ups in the time it took me to type that last paragraph.

i'm heading down to the hill country this weekend. we're staying in gruene, doing the fredricksburg, luckenbach, and enchanted rock tour if the weather permits. every day something new tempts me dry kick... i think i've got used to it and all of the sudden "oh yeah, it's new years" or "i've got to run to the landfill" or "it's wednesday" some other old excuse i would have used to turn it into a party... it's been almost a year, and i really don't have the desire to drink anymore, but lots of time i just feel like that's what i should be doing. enough of that crap. it doesn't effect you, the reader. and i have to remember what i saw when i was watching leave it to beaver the other day. ward said to theodore "beaver, sometimes you just need to be a man and hide you feelings." i thought that was funny, especially in the theraputic society in which i live. the feeling i have been repressing most is one that comes from the central region of your brain, which causes you to think that everyone around you is an idiot. i try to be open minded, but many times lately, the people that i am giving a chance to must go one step further and prove they were mayor of idiot land in a previous life.

i'm an extra unfocused rambler tonight.

i think most of my dislike of people in general lately comes from the fact that i haven't been all too successful in the business world, and that i'm working in a city where i don't live (although it's close enough to commute). i keep thinking "if i was in fort worth, i'd be kicking ass. these people just don't get it over here." in all reality i'm the one who doesn't get it bla bla bla. like jack says, you've got to keep on keeping one.

i spent today in bowie and decatur, and in the means of business development, it was one of the most successful days i've had in a long time. i think i just relate to small town people better than i do the cool kids in the city... i think i would be eaten alive if i moved to new york. everything is jsut so much more laid back outside of the places with townhomes and tollways. my allergies are even better in the country.

talk to myself again soon. have a great weekend.


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