Wednesday, September 11, 2002

Of course I refuse to see anything in the world like anyone else does.
I've been doing the usual reflecting about the last year, and I've had a lot
of feelings going on in my head. This morning when it was all quite and cool,
I had a lot more hard feelings, remembering the confusion and disbelief that i
had in the quiet and cool morning a year ago. I think my general feeling I had was
"I don't understand. This can't happen. This doesn't happen." We went to a
special service at our church that night,
and the general feeling there was confusion as well. The atmosphere there was alot
like the light at 6pm in a sanctuary in mid september... not bright enough to be
dark and not bright enough to be dark. mental fog and haze was all over the world,
the sky was quite, ironically, the sky that had contributed to this tragedy earlier in
the day. i think the confusion came mostly from the shadow enemy that we couldn't
see, attacked with means of our own capitolism and freedom, mass destriction at
the blade of box cutters, no expensive weapons, just the price of a plane ticket and
storng will that the highjackers had, a stong will and belief in something that I never will
understand.

The attack caused mass destruction in the area where it occured, in a physical sense.
It brought doubt and fear of an enemy that most never acknowledged as real.
There was an enemy without an actual government that took time to find and attack,
and it is an enemy that will never surrender, and will never be visibly conquered.

There's all the sayings that it has brought us together as a nation. I put up a flag,
I out a sticker on my car. People were on the bandwagon. people were nicer for
a while, some may have really changed their lives, some may have not.

But we aren't down, and going back to our normal lives is a big part of showing
that we are winning. The flag on my porch has some down, the flag on my
truck has since been replaced with another sticker. As I look back, we are a
nation held together by strong individuals, and the each one of us that is strong
is an asset to someone who is not so strong.

A part of America was destroyed that day.
A part of America will be rebuilt.
People died that day.
People have been born since then.
People will continue to die,
Buildings will be rebuilt.
People will love.
People will hate.
Happiness and hope will be in ourlives,
And eventually
very very very far in the future,
this will all be forgotten.
But not in our lives.

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