Saturday, July 13, 2002

[7/12/2002 2:36:30 PM | Ben Wright]
HOW TO DESTROY A DRYER
So I'm sitting around the house being a typical young urbal professional, and my first wife kindly asks if I can fic the dryer, she said the heating element has gone out. Well, of course I can. I have a college education and a tool bag. Not just any tools, either, but Craftsman tools with a lifetime guarantee. With quite a bit of rust since I have a bad habit of leaving lots of crap in the back of my truck. I hope I get over that before the Baby gets here... Back to the Dryer... So I'm using my Tool Bag as well as a Power Tool, and I read the directions... Oh hell yeah, this looks easy. It's like replacing a big spring on the round part of the dryer. But the part that the people in the Mad Science Appliance Lab don't tell you is that it is in the very from and you have to take it completely apart... yes, nearly completely apart to get to the part to be replaced. Wires and all, flashlight, drill, screwdriver... Yes nurse, more suction, I'm bleeding... An hour and 4 Keystone tallboys pass, and pride swells inside me. Sure, two blocks over, people are playing golf at the country club, but I have completely taken apart and am in the process of restoring an antique dryer to working orders. Click, snap, drill.... A few more wires...Yeah, that's it... Plug in, and turn the dial... Buzzzzzzzzzzz. Didn't make that noise before. Pull a few screws, change some wires, that should do it... same noise, but I bumped something inside and now there's a little rattle as well... Seems to be kinda wobbly, and I'm out of screws, there's at least 10 on the inside that I didn't put in. A little remove and replace. Crash, boom bang. Something has fallen apart that I didn't konow was a part that could come apart... Plug this, move that... Grrrrrrrrzzzzzzz (insert very uncomfortable smell) unplug quickly. Shine flashlight, contemplate continuing work, realized you are at a high risk of burning your house down if you continue any further. Now that game of golf doesn't sound so bad, but you'll probably need to be here later when the appliance repair guys comes. Just remember you can kick his ass if he makes fun of your effort...

Tune in later, as tomorrow I learn to use a jackhammer. For money, and someone else's property. this should be good.

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